Love


Just Because I Hate Him Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Love Him 3

Rejected titles for this entry include:

  • Is This What a Stroke Feels Like?
  • I Promise I Didn’t Type This on the Toilet
  • WHATTHEMOTHERFUCKINGWHAT?????

 

Y’all… you have no idea how anxious I am about this post. Like had to stop and buy my first pack of cigarettes in three weeks type of anxious. Been avoiding opening this blog to the point that my friends and friends of friends are straight calling me on my disappearing act bullshit type of anxious. Like spending too much time in the bathroom, and I’m not even hungover, so you know I’m not playing around type of anxious. (more…)


Romeo Part 4: Star-Crossed 13

Continued from Romeo: Part 3.

This is hard. I do and I don’t want to write this:

1. When I’m done, that means his chapter in my life is done. I know it’ll bring me some closure, but I still feel a little like I’m putting the nail in a coffin of someone that the smallest part of me refuses to believe is dead.

2. I promised to only ever be honest with you guys, but being honest with myself through these posts has been incredibly hard; I don’t want to over romanticize or under value. I can’t pretend I have answers because truthfully I feel left with more questions than anything. (more…)


Romeo Part 3: Welcome Home 6

Continued from Romeo: Part 2

Romeo and I were falling fast, but not recklessly. We decided pretty much immediately that we were going to be exclusive and that yes, long distance was going to be hard, but that if any two people in the whole world could make it work, it would be us. (more…)


Romeo Part 2: It’s Only a Year 2

Continued from Romeo: Part 1.

That night, I went to meet him and his friends at a bar and had yet another night full of more mutual connection and banter and attraction than I thought possible. I watched him tell story after story while managing to effortlessly garner the attention of half the room in doing so and thought I had finally found someone who I would happily relinquish the spotlight to. (more…)


Romeo Part 1: Timing is Everything 7

Update 9/10/16: I realize that those of you that are just now joining the Terrible Poker Face story, you know Romeo/David and I for my Facebook post that went viral. I meant every word I wrote in that post. I also meant every word that I wrote in these next four posts. Even though I was living a lie, I had no idea. I did love him with all my heart and believed him when he said he loved me too. 

If you’ve been reading this blog for a hot minute, you know that Romeo is the man I was dating when I first started this blog. He was the someone special from my first post; he was the man that made me realize what everyone was talking about when they talked about finding their person; he was the man who broke my heart into a million little pieces.

(more…)


Sharks Can’t Go Back to Bathtubs and Other Love Advice 9

As I mentioned in my post last week, I went to dinner with Not The One. I had the purest of intentions of showing up, being platonic friends, catching up, and going our different ways at the end of the night.

Turns out being just friends will never be in the cards for us. (more…)


Break-Up Side Effect #3: Relief

Someone can only make you cry the ugly cry so many times before a little part of you shuts off; before walls start to come up that they will never be the person to tear back down; before the parts of what make you you, the parts that have been slowly getting chipped away, give in and crumble.

Towards the end of me and Romeo, I wasn’t the best version of me anymore. In fact, the night we broke up I wrote an entry about standing down your inner demons when relationship insecurities become too much. I was drowning that night. (more…)


Lord, Beer Me Strength 1

See the clip of the original scene here. (Also, watch that gif enough times and you might start to have a seizure. My God. Scroll down right now. SAVE YOURSELF!!!!)

I need a little break from writing about the heart stomping that has been the last three weeks of my life, so I’m temporarily removing myself from my present reality and indulging in a good, old-fashioned #FlashbackFriday. (more…)


Break-Up Side Effect #2: The Sad 3

Winston Churchill referred to it as the black dog. Will Wheaton referred to it as a loud room. Allie Bosh referred to it as a soul decaying boredom. For me, it’s The Sad. (more…)


Break-Up Side Effect #1: Humiliation 12

New Relationship Smugness is a real thing, y’all.

According to Urban Dictionary- New Relationship Smugness (NRS)
A very common overwhelming emotion by new couples experienced within the first 1 – 6 months of their relationship. They are poisoned by their own happiness and led to believe they are the “Perfect Couple”, after the honeymoon phase ends and the healthy relationship begins… NRS quickly fades away.
“You and Robin are in the honeymoon phase. Everything’s perfect. Every song on the radio’s about you. Every other couple sucks. Enjoy it, NRS doesn’t last forever.”– Ted, How I Met Your Mother
When I first met Romeo, I experienced the smuggiest of New Relationship Smugness that ever did exist in all of the land: (more…)