Dark & Twisty


Romeo Part 3: Welcome Home 6

Continued from Romeo: Part 2

Romeo and I were falling fast, but not recklessly. We decided pretty much immediately that we were going to be exclusive and that yes, long distance was going to be hard, but that if any two people in the whole world could make it work, it would be us. (more…)


Romeo Part 2: It’s Only a Year 2

Continued from Romeo: Part 1.

That night, I went to meet him and his friends at a bar and had yet another night full of more mutual connection and banter and attraction than I thought possible. I watched him tell story after story while managing to effortlessly garner the attention of half the room in doing so and thought I had finally found someone who I would happily relinquish the spotlight to. (more…)


Romeo Part 1: Timing is Everything 7

Update 9/10/16: I realize that those of you that are just now joining the Terrible Poker Face story, you know Romeo/David and I for my Facebook post that went viral. I meant every word I wrote in that post. I also meant every word that I wrote in these next four posts. Even though I was living a lie, I had no idea. I did love him with all my heart and believed him when he said he loved me too. 

If you’ve been reading this blog for a hot minute, you know that Romeo is the man I was dating when I first started this blog. He was the someone special from my first post; he was the man that made me realize what everyone was talking about when they talked about finding their person; he was the man who broke my heart into a million little pieces.

(more…)


I’m pretty sure I deserve a hug and a slap from Stevie Nicks. 13

If you already don’t like me, this post certainly isn’t going to help.

Then again, if you don’t like me you probably don’t know about or don’t care about my blog, so really this post is only going to make people who already like me a little like me less, and make those who like me a lot reconsider.

The thing is, I really like to feel sorry for myself. (more…)


Break-Up Side Effect #3: Relief

Someone can only make you cry the ugly cry so many times before a little part of you shuts off; before walls start to come up that they will never be the person to tear back down; before the parts of what make you you, the parts that have been slowly getting chipped away, give in and crumble.

Towards the end of me and Romeo, I wasn’t the best version of me anymore. In fact, the night we broke up I wrote an entry about standing down your inner demons when relationship insecurities become too much. I was drowning that night. (more…)


Break-Up Side Effect #2: The Sad 3

Winston Churchill referred to it as the black dog. Will Wheaton referred to it as a loud room. Allie Bosh referred to it as a soul decaying boredom. For me, it’s The Sad. (more…)


Break-Up Side Effect #1: Humiliation 12

New Relationship Smugness is a real thing, y’all.

According to Urban Dictionary- New Relationship Smugness (NRS)
A very common overwhelming emotion by new couples experienced within the first 1 – 6 months of their relationship. They are poisoned by their own happiness and led to believe they are the “Perfect Couple”, after the honeymoon phase ends and the healthy relationship begins… NRS quickly fades away.
“You and Robin are in the honeymoon phase. Everything’s perfect. Every song on the radio’s about you. Every other couple sucks. Enjoy it, NRS doesn’t last forever.”– Ted, How I Met Your Mother
When I first met Romeo, I experienced the smuggiest of New Relationship Smugness that ever did exist in all of the land: (more…)

Hope Can Be So Devastating 7

Some days I think hope is a curse.

You logically know something will never happen. You can clearly state how X, Y and Z factors mean that something is not just unlikely, but borderline impossible. You can articulate quite clearly to everyone around you how you know something is over. And yet, you still can’t shut up that little voice in your heart that hopes. (more…)


One Step Ahead of The Sad 2

For 9 days now I’ve sat on this, not quite knowing what to say or how to say it. For 9 days now I’ve simultaneously tried to come up with the words and tried to wish it out of existence.

Romeo broke up with me. He said long distance was too hard, and he had just stopped feeling invested in us because we couldn’t be around each other enough to make it work.

Yet again, science ruined my life, only this time instead of chemistry, it was time and space. Fuck you, physics. (more…)


Not The One 6

*Note: I meant to post this in my Little Black Book. Technologically this whole blog thing is still way over my head. I’m letting it stay as a post though because… well… it just feels like the truest thing I can say right now. And I promised to tell the truth.*

I met Not The One one night when I was out with a friend. I actually remember watching him walk across the bar and thinking, “That guy is for sure about to come hit on me, and I’m already not feeling it. Crap.” (more…)