Tell ‘Em Boy Bye 4

Romeo, Romeo. Where for art thou, Romeo?

Oh, turns out Romeo was at a cheap hotel. Becky with the Good Hair was there, too. And I took “being honest is what I’m best at, even when it’s the worst” to a whole new level this week when the following post went viral on Facebook:


David Fink it’s so poetic that exactly two years ago today-#LaborDay 2014- was the day I realized I was in love with you!! 
We’d only been seeing each other 3 months, but from the first week you told me you wanted to be exclusive because you were leaving for pilot training, and I wanted nothing more than to be there for you every night for the long sobbing calls about the stress and sending you study snacks and little treats! 

There was just something about you that made me believe in you. Maybe it was how 6 weeks after we met you confessed through tears to me that you had been texting another girl and begged for one more chance. How can a girl pass up a love like that!  

Or maybe it was the unrelenting stink of the 3 other girls you were sleeping with for the first 4 months of our relationship. Including 2 coworkers! (Hi Lauren! Hi Taylor!) To be fair, I have since found out that 3/6 girls that you admitted to cheating on me with (is it still considered admitting if you lie your cute little fanny off until I pull up screenshots of undeniable proof? ) were also most likely victims of your endless one night stands full of false promises. Like sweet Veronica, the college student who you deleted your number from her phone while she was showering after all that rock star love making It must have been those baby blues and pilot bravado that just couldn’t keep the ladies off you!   âœˆï¸

Now, there was that one teeeeeny tiiiiney time that after we had been exclusive for 7 months you had a full relationship with another girl, but who am I to hold that against you?? Christmas with another girl’s family and then inviting ME to New Years Eve with yours??? You’re just all about spreading that “holiday cheer!” (Spreading that “holiday Erin Black” just doesn’t have quite the same holiday ring to it. ) But the REAL festivities started 6 months later when you screwed her in our bed. Correction- my bed. The bed that I moved from Houston to San Antonio when you told me to pick out a ring and come start the rest of our lives together!  I quit my job, left everyone and everything I cared about to be with you. I’ve always been told I wasn’t good at sharing- beds and boyfriends included- must be my bad. No worries, babe!!!! 

You know- I’ve learned so much from you by running your house projects full time to help make you over $500k in equity. Like all those evil contractors you’re always saying I trust too easily. Thank GOD I have you to show me what trust is all about!!! Like for example 3 months ago when I found all of this out and you kept telling me how crazy I was and how I needed to work on my #trustissues, so I spent $1,000 in therapy this summer to deal with my issues. Where would I be without you baby?!?! ()

Maybe I WOULDN’T be sitting out front of a 3 star hotel waiting for you and Lucky #7 (or #8? #9?? I’ll have to consult my flow chart to keep them all straight) to come downstairs. Maybe you finally classed up and decided to do it in someone else’s bed, or maaaaybe it’s cause her husband wouldn’t appreciate it either.
Among all of the WONDERFUL lessons you’ve imparted on me over the years, I just can’t help but share some of your wisdom with the rest of our friends.

1. Being cheated on is insanely isolating. You scramble to cover for the #cheater when you most need to be able to be vulnerable and comforted with the people who stand by you. I refuse to sit alone in this cheating stigma, and I want others to know that if someone tries to #gaslight you for trying to fix your relationship, cut and run as fast as you can. If you decide to stay after infidelity, no judgment because this isn’t a one size fits all situation and some people will do whatever it takes to make the relationship better than ever, but keep a #UHaul on standby just in case. 

2. If you’re someone who LIVES for what your fellow #AirForce pilots, commanding officers, friends, family and Tinderellas think of you, you should really consider ACTUALLY being a good person instead of priding yourself at how many versions of “the truth” you can juggle at once. (Real talk- if you know David, I have personally heard him lie to you at least once this year. That includes everyone. Yes, you too.) 

3. Don’t cheat. Ever. But if you do, you should probably make sure she’s not smarter and meaner than you with 0.00000 fucks left to give.  

4. It’s not crazy when you’re right.

P.S. You always told me I never take enough pictures of us, so here’s one for the mantle!

#finishhim and like/share your little hearts out



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