Terrible Poker Face 2.0 Plus a FREE Scavenger Hunt (God, I really hope you don’t think this is spam…)


This post comes with a bonus scavenger hunt question:
How many Julia Roberts references can I make in 800 words or less?

Ready. Set. GO.

 

Once upon a time there was a girl who knew only two things for certain:
1. Calling her an awful liar didn’t even begin to cover it because the reality was she didn’t see the point in lying and instead walked around like her life was an open blog.
2. If she didn’t start writing soon, she would implode because you can only tell the same stories to your friends so many times before they crowd fund a trip to Italy, India and Indonesia therapist for you.
Spoiler alert: that girl is me.

 

So here we are on the five month anniversary of Terrible Poker Face, and I have huge, FANTASTIC news for you… it’s SO huge and SO fantastic that I thought I would be super cute and use a Pretty Woman gif where she’s all “big, huge, I have to go shopping,” only to discover that when you Google search for “big huge pretty woman” this comes up…

 

big booty pretty woman terrible poker face huge ass

 

And like props to her big, beautiful booty (it certainly gives ’em Something To Talk About) and what not, but that’s not really what I was going for so I further refined my search to discover that “big huge pretty woman julia roberts gif” pulls this up…
702c39a3308a364e8f9dfbd1336c0153

 

Which is the EXACT scene I was referring to but forgot that she says “big mistake,” so that totally changes the context, and now I’m back at square one. However, in the spirit of “it’s the journey, not the destination that matters most,” I wanted to go ahead and share my personal journey before revealing… <drumroll on your desk please for appropriate effect>
WE WILL BE LAUNCHING TERRIBLE POKER FACE 2.0 THIS WEEK!!!
When I started this blog, hand to God I thought it would be me and a handful of friends that would read it; I never imagined that I would have total strangers turn into internet friends that not only wanted to read the my blog, but would straight up subscribe and comment and share and keep me accountable for continuing to post stuff when writers block/life got in the way. I cannot thank y’all enough for the support you’ve given me of the past few months, especially considering a good bulk of that time, this blog and you guys were what kept me from have a full blown psychotic episode. It’s because of you guys that I’m seeking out opportunities to expand the blog, and TPF 2.0 will be step one in doing that.
A few things to note from the logistics side of things:
1. My site will still have the same URL, so within the next 72 hours the metamorphosis will happen so that when you type it into your browser it will take you straight to the new site. You could even say it will go from a beautiful hooker in thigh highs to a beautiful hooker in a dress from Rodeo Drive.
2. If you follow me via email, nothing should change. You’ll still get emails when I post- which I promise will be so much more frequent now that I’m not using my creative energy making super crucial website decisions like how much cleavage my gravatar should have. (Turns out “tastefully offensive” is a somewhat obscure term in the graphic design world.)
3. If you follow me on WordPress only, you will need to resubscribe via email on the new site in order to get email updates. If you don’t, you’ll still be able to see my stuff on the WordPress Reader.
4. If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, BlogHer, or BlogLovin, nothing will change except that hopefully now the spirit will move you to share, like, retweet and repin your little hearts out because all writers are mild narcisists, and I’m no exceptionMuch like Tinkerbell needed applause to not die after she drank the poison.
terrible poker face Tinkerbell hook julia roberts
5. We are hoping for a seamless transition but are prepared for some minor glitches to come up, so please bear with us. Also please, PLEASE give feedback if you notice anything weird. I’m okay with me personally being cray but prefer for my site to look like it keeps it together.


Also, I’m including the last gif just because Ouiser from Steel Magnolias, which also starred Julia Roberts, is one of the best characters ever written, and plus I really wanted to round out the Julia Roberts references, and possibly give a preview to what it will be like to know me around the time Terrible Poker Face 8.0 comes out.

giphy

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